Random Thought #1 - Green Tea is Good.

November 20, 2008 – 5:12 am

Green tea is gooood. Really good. In fact, it is so good I have made it a daily ritual over the past month to come to Citizen Cafeand drink an entire pot of it - usually right before I go beat women up in my kickboxing class.

Some facts about Green Tea you may not know:

~ Green tea is made from the same plant (Camellia sinensis) as other teas such as black and oolong, but with a different process.

~ Green tea is green because it is not fermented (very similar to green beer - just kidding, dork).

~ Green tea retains more health benefits than black tea because the fermentation process used to make black teas causes the destruction of many nutrients.

~ All teas contain the potent antioxidants known as polyphenols, but green tea contains the most potent forms.

~ Green tea has been shown to increase calorie burning and fat oxidation.

~ Epigallo catechin gallate (EGCG) is the most important active component in green tea, and it is many times a more powerful antioxidant than vitamin C or vitamin E.

~ Health Benefits of Green Tea: Prevent Cancer, Heart Disease, Arthritis, Liver Damage, Tooth Decay

~ Research indicates that green tea may play a part in preventing cancers of the esophagus, stomach, bladder, colon, rectum, pancreas, liver, lung, and prostate. Studies show that green tea protects the heart by lowering cholesterol and blood pressure, and reducing the risk of heart attack. The antioxidants in green tea may reduce heart attacks and strokes by reducing clotting.

~ Green tea may also ease the pain caused by rheumatoid arthritis, by reducing inflammation.

~ Beneficial molecules in green tea may protect the liver from toxins, including those from tobacco smoke and alcohol.

~ Green tea appears to have protective effects on the teeth, possibly by reducing the decay causing bacteria that exist in the mouth. Green tea also contains natural flouride, which is a known cavity fighter.

3rd Luce Weds, Women Everywhere Mourn

November 20, 2008 – 4:39 am

It’s official - the 3rd Luce boy, Benjamin Carl Luce, has been officially removed from the “single” category on Facebook. The uttering of his vows in his marriage to Rachel Slafka (and all 862 of her relatives/citizens of Bremond, Texas) caused a ripple in the space-time continuum, resulting in wide-spread panic among single women throughout the Universe.

The sole remaining single Luce man - Tony Luce, this blog’s publisher, - was seen at the wedding being woman-handled all over the dance floor. “I feel bad for them, so I give them love.” he quipped.

Obama Wins

November 20, 2008 – 4:38 am

Amazing. Simply Amazing.

Obama looks to have taken the 08 election with a resounding 52% of the popular vote (see below cutout from CNN).

Simply stunning.>

Office Ninja

October 30, 2008 – 3:41 am

Halloween is tomorrow - a sneak preview.

Tony Sapporro - Violence Development Dept., Ninja\'s Inc.

Women be Enterpisin

August 8, 2008 – 11:09 am

Women be Enterprisin. No, it’s not a line from Ludacris (or maybe it is), but it certainly is a statement of fact.

According to some of the most recent anthropological studies women use approximately 99% of the processing power of their brains to analyze their relationship amongst their peers, with 53% of that focusing on their relationships with MEN.

The end result? 46% of their time is spent wasting their lives.

“We women feel an innate need to judge ourselves - and by ourselves I of course mean other people” says imminent feminologist Pat Manly. “As a result, we tend to be biased towards pretty much everything and everyone else. By the way, you look fat.”

Toyota Announces Segway Killer: The Winglet Personal Transporter - 12 People Subsequently Die from Respiratory Stress Induced by Hysterical Laughter

August 3, 2008 – 1:32 am

Toyota Announces Segway Killer: The Winglet Personal Transporter

Toyota inc, in an attempt to attack the “massive” personal transporter market (estimated world wide market of 200,000 dollars in 2008), has introduced the Winglet - the world’s first guaranteed-to-make-you-look-stupid-and-probably-cause-horrific-genitalia-related-injuries personal transporter. Apparently designed by people who have never lived in the real world (most likely a line of “Super Toyotans” genetically engineered to remain pre-pubescent forever and secretly locked in a Toyota “R&D” facility) the Winglet has been dubbed a Segway Killer.

For those of you who don’t know what a Segway is, it is the already dead technology invented by legendary inventor Dean Kamen which uses gyroscopic balancing technology to “change the world”.

The major impacts of the Segway to date include:

  1. Allowing overweight Americans to more easily experience a fully automated “walking” tour of some of the U.S.’s most tourist-friendly cities (aka Washington D.C.).
  2. Giving Gob from Arrested Development a mobile platform from which to make us all laugh.
  3. Providing the media something to get excited about, albeit briefly, and then beat to death with satirical editorials.

Is it me, or does everyone on one of these Winglets look both bored out of their mind and deathly afraid of falling at the same time?

Stupid Chinese Shirts

July 29, 2008 – 7:08 am

Gotta love the ridiculous-ass t-shirts you see in china.

For example:

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And also:

Typhoon Approaches

July 28, 2008 – 8:57 am

Sitting at Face in Shanghai watching the sky boil as Typhoon Fong-Wang approaches the edge of the city. Half a bottle of white Chilean and two scotch sodas can’t take the edge off the feeling that comes from watching gray clouds skirt through the night sky, flirting with the tops of nearby sky scrapers.

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Drinking Guiness at Omalley’s

July 26, 2008 – 8:07 am

Having a few beers at Omalley’swith Will, Peggy, and Abeyta. We’re in Shanghai, and the waitress is speaking Spanish. Ridiculous.

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iphone post

July 26, 2008 – 2:57 am

Posting from my iPhone. This is pretty fantastic. Pwned my iPhone and installed the new 2.0 version of the firmware. Love the app store. Using the Wordpress for iPhone app right now. Wonder if I can post pics directly from the phone into the post. Just checked - success! This rocks.

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